Today I cried because my teen daughter told me to stay out of a problem she was facing. Today I cried because I did not and it made her cry.
My daughter and I have always been close. I have also always been close to all her friends letting them know they can come to me. I spend a lot of time with her because I believe the more I am involved the better she will be. To a point I guess this is right but to another point she is not handling anything on her own.

I have my rules for her and for the most part she obeys them. This city has put a lot of attitude in her and I keep fixing the mistakes she make from it. I have stopped a lot of fist fights and verbal fights in the past four years. I have taken her out of public school because of all the peer pressure she was under. Should I keep defending her? Sometimes I don't know where her problem begins and where mine starts.

I wrote a e-mail to one of her good friends today because they got into a verbal fight while on a camping trip this weekend. I was nice about it and I told the girl their friendship was worth more than they were fight about. My daughter broke out in the most adult argument I have ever heard from a teenager. She said through tear, "Mom,why can't you let me deal with it for once? I am never going to learn from my mistakes if you keep fixing everything for me! It is my problem not yours!"

My daughter was the adult today and I have more faith in her than I ever had. I am letting go! I will stay out, I will let her learn from her mistakes. I will be the mother not the referee! I will only help when I hear four words from her mouth, "Mom can you help?"
Today I cried because I know I have to let go.

Learn more about this author, Shannon Brendlinger.
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