Where Knowledge Rules

Education:

Colleges & Universities

Get a Widget for this title

Humor: College students guide to managing hovering parents

Ah college! A time for late-night wing-eating contests, early-morning coffee runs, and all-day parent phone calls?

While college is a time for many students to celebrate their newfound freedom, some will unfortunately encounter the reality of hovering parents. Because, let's face it; as happy as they were to SEE you go, they're still not ready to LET you go.

Luckily, there are a few tried-and-true (and a few not-so-tried-and-true) methods for managing your over-involved parents.

The deceptive approach:
While I'm never one to advocate openly lying to your parents, a little truth-stretching can make both of your lives easier. The key to this one is to always be on your way somewhere respectable. What self-respecting parent will grill you for details on your dating life when you're on your way to a "scheduling meeting" with your favorite professor?
Extra credit: Have a roommate agree to play the part of your professor in the background, asking you to hurry it up or to make a decision on which math you want to take.

The "I'm still here" approach:
For a few dollars, you can get a picture of yourself made into a life-sized cardboard cutout. While you're at it, make a couple of them, in different outfits. Place the cutouts strategically throughout the house; standing by the fridge, sneaking out the back door, huddled under the covers on a Saturday afternoon.
Extra credit: For the tech-savvy among you, record yourself repeating certain key phrases to a CD; try "when's dinner?" "can I borrow the car?" and "you are SO annoying!". Invest in a CD alarm clock and set it to go off at random times throughout the day. It'll be like you never left!

Fight fire with fire!
Next time mom calls "just to see how you're doing," begin with "I woke up around 9:32, hit the snooze button and rolled back over. Approximately nine minutes later I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, but all of the showers were taken so I walked back to my room" By the time you get to "and there I was, deciding between veggie cream cheese and strawberry cream cheese," mom will be begging to get back to work.
Extra credit: Try the reverse approach; call dad every seventeen minutes, just to say "hi." After three or four hours, he should get the hint.

Learn more about this author, Heather Russell.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Humor: College students guide to managing hovering parents

  • 1 of 11

    by Vivian Edwards

    College students,

    Here is a list of some very important things you need to know while attending college:
    1. Your mother will

    read more

  • 2 of 11

    by Heather Russell

    Ah college! A time for late-night wing-eating contests, early-morning coffee runs, and all-day parent phone calls?

    While

    read more

  • 3 of 11

    by Khadija Husain

    The first time I walked into my college dorm, I flung the window open and screamed "Freedom" loud enough to make Mel Gibson

    read more

  • 4 of 11

    by H.G. Hess

    The Humorous Guide to College Students with Hovering Parents

    Did Mom interrupt your Philosophy class, flying from Wisconsin

    read more

  • 5 of 11

    by Ted Sherman

    You think you have parents who hover close by while you're in college? Then have pity on Douglas MacArthur. Throughout his

    read more

View All Articles on:
Humor: College students guide to managing hovering parents

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: College students guide to managing hovering parents?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

Helium Debate

Cast your vote!

Is Wikipedia a legitimate source for writing term papers?

Click for your side.

224344

Featured Partner

Society of Professional Journalists

The Society of Professional Journalists is the nation's most broad-based journalism organization, dedicated to encour...more

What is Helium? | Buy Web Content | Contact Us | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA | User Tools | Help | Community | Helium’s Official Blog | Link to Helium

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA