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Why Married Women Have Affairs

Most women marry believing that nothing in the world will ever change how they feel about their husband. They may even feel outraged when hearing about other women who are having affairs, and consider them weak and immoral for their behavior. But as time passes, many suddenly find themselves in situations that may tempt them or even lead them to be unfaithful. What causes love to fade, emotional fireworks to burn out, and an ever-widening gap to develop between two people? There can be many reasons, but the pain, anger, and guilt that result are always part of the end product.

As divorce becomes more and more commonplace in our society, young people learn from example that relationships, even marriage, are only temporary situations. "Forever" has become a thing of the past. People have become more selfish and demanding in their expectations. And everyday stresses are overwhelming. Often an affair happens as a means of escaping the everyday hardships of life. It allows for random moments when the participants can indulge in fantasy. Unfortunately, when caught, the reality is much harder than the life they were trying to escape.

Many women justify their extra-marital affairs on the grounds that their husbands don't appreciate them or show them enough attention. They feel they are taken for granted. To some degree, that may be true. But before running out and finding someone on the side, a woman needs to examine the possible reasons she feels her husband may be acting that way. Is he working long hours? Is he under a great deal of stress? Has she tried to talk to him about how she is feeling? Many women don't take the time to do this. They are hurt and angry because life didn't turn out as they expected. And suddenly the opportunity is there for an affair, and they jump in with both feet.

Most women who are having affairs will admit that they still love their husbands very much, they don't want to hurt them, and they believe they can continue these activities without their husbands ever finding out. This unrealistic outlook is usually based on the belief that he doesn't really notice anyway. But you'd be surprised at how much he actually does notice. And as time goes on, the woman will become more careless in her adventures until she gets caught.

Marriage is built on more than love and romance. Any relationship that is lacking trust will have little chance of survival. Cheating destroys trust. If you are considering having an affair or are currently involved in an affair, take the time to consider what you stand to lose. Is it really worth it? Think about all the reasons you married this man in the first place. Make an effort to rekindle the flame. Most of all, don't allow the tough times to draw you into behavior that you will spend the rest of life regretting or being ashamed of.
Marriage is a difficult job. It takes effort and patience and strength. Realizing that before saying "I do" will spare you and the one you love a great deal of heartache.

Learn more about this author, Carol Wohlfeil.
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