by Vivian Edwards

Created on: May 07, 2007   Last Updated: May 10, 2007

College students,

Here is a list of some very important things you need to know while attending college:
1. Your mother will call every hour for the first couple of months
2. Your father will always that that accusatory tone in his voice
3. You are going to have to learn to lie
4. Don't tell them that you are having fun
5. Put an automatic reply on your email so that when your mom emails you because she hasn't been able to get you on the phone. Have it reply: In the study hall all day. I will get back with you as soon as possible. Please do not call my cell phone because like I said, I am in the study hall all day

6. Don't go into any detail when you do communicate with them. Remember the golden rule: I will keep them informed of all the things they need to know but this, they don't need to know.
7. Pre-print out menus from Betty Crocker so that way when they want to know what you have been eating you can answer.
8. Make sure if you do tell them that you met someone, that you use a good Christian name and tell them, of course, that you met at church
9. Don't go into any detail about anything. Just generic conversation
10. Remember that they love you, and you too will one day have a child who goes off to college so don't do anything that you don't want done to you

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