by Amy Lynne

Created on: May 07, 2007   Last Updated: January 25, 2012

When you're a kid, an adolescent or a young adult you spend most of your time and energy on trying to fit in. You try to have the right clothes, say the right things, get in with the "in" circle of friends. The biggest stressors that you had to face up to those points were cruel gossip, schoolwork, and peer pressure.
"When I'm older," or so we all thought "things will be so much easier."

Your mistakes are made in mass quantity, but forgiven in mass quantity as well, because, after all, you were only a kid. When you had a bad day, usually your best friend or parents could fix it with a good meal and a kiss on the forehead.

But then older comes.

And here we are, still the same kid trapped inside of an adult body. Of course, along the winding path we grew to be more intelligent, more independent and more mature. But then we find that adulthood comes with a great loss: the loss of the dependence on others that made us feel secure. The loss of the large circle of school friends. The loss of the freedom childhood and adolescence gave us. We now spend all of our time and energy on trying to stand out: at work, in college, at home, with friends, in our hobbies. We no longer wish to just blend in. We want to be somebody, and it is with harsh reality that we all learn that being an adult doesn't automatically set you up with a nice car, loads of money, a home or a spouse. It is with great effort and sacrifice that these things are attained, if ever.

So what do we learn about this difficult, sometimes fun, sometimes devastating transition into adulthood?

We learn to be our own best friend. (Sometimes this is learned by having a friend let you down, losing a friend, or just being alone much of the time)

We learn to take care of ourselves after a bad day. (Because mom can't meet us at our house everyday at 5 p.m., we eventually learn to pour ourselves a glass of wine, indulge in a good meal and bathe, though sometimes a phone call to mom helps fill the void of the kiss on the forehead)

We learn that hard work pays off, and is also good for the soul. (This is learned the first time you independently make a big accomplishment-like a promotion- and realize it feels good, not only for the recognition it brings you, but for the feeling of pride that swells in your heart and makes you realize your potential)

We learn that because our mistakes as an adult aren't easily forgiven, to make less mistakes.

We learn that things like smoking, drinking, and drugs REALLY ARE bad for you, and in more way than you ever knew before. (This epiphany sometimes comes after your boss catches you singing karaoke on top of the bar with only one shoe and a Corona in your hand, but nonetheless, you learn it)

We learn to forgive ourselves.

And most importantly, every day that we age, we learn to become a better person. For ourselves, for our family and for our society.

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