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A long day, a hard night.

When I am at school all day around the stupidity and immaturity of my peers, I fel overwhelmed with hatred to everyone and anyone around me. I mostly feel like humanity has no hope left; we are all too ignorant to realize what we are doing to ourselves.

Then I get home, and my abusive relationship with my parents makes the pain worse. I want to die when I'm home. I feel so much rage that I want to literally kill everyone around me, including myself. I've never had the courage, nor the true desire to do so.

Pain is the only thing that helps some times. I feel like if I can hit myself, burn myself, or in general make myself bleed, it'll feel a little better. I just have to take out the rage I feel towards mankind on myself. It's the only thing I can do.
I have not been diagnosed with Borderline, but I show all the symptoms. I can't go to a phsycologist; only the rich kids can do that. But I know my mind, and I know what I am feeling.

Self-Mutilation is a language of pain. It's the only language that helps me sometimes realize exactly what I am mad about, and my exact feelings, and it somehow communicates it to the people around me. Whether or not it's a desperate cry for help, it's the only thing that keeps me, and others, sane.

Learn more about this author, Gabrielle Anderice.
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