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At 6:30AM on a Saturday, the sun's rays seeped through my curtains and rested on my face. I rose to nature's alarm clock and let out a sleepy yawn while stretching my limbs.
Propelling my feet to the floor, I slowly stood up and walked to the front door. Since it was so early, I didn't care who was up to see me in my PJ's as I got the mail. The sun was already producing a cheery warmth, working its way into my body. A smile bloomed across my face as I anticipated more mornings like these. Summer was finally here.
Once I reached the end of the driveway, I opened the mailbox. I then began flipping through the various letters and bills as I made my way back to the house. I looked at the envelope of one, and stopped dead in my monkey slipper tracks.
"IMPORTANT NOTICE: OPEN ME AT NOON ON THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER" it said. And when I say "it said", I really mean "it said". What I mean is, it actually spoke those words to me. Not only on paper, but with a shrilly voice. After it repeated its message, I dropped my mail to the driveway. The letter which spoke to me landed in a puddle to my left. I watched in amazement as it bent in the middle, walked out of the puddle on its corners, and shook like a dog!
"What the-," I said to myself. I firmly closed my eyes, convinced I was still sleeping. I opened them to see the letter now climbing up my slipper. I proceeded to pinch myself as I saw people in the movies do, which only gave me a red mark on my skin. The letter was now at my knee as I started to shake my leg as if a dog was trying to hump it.
"Get off of me! What the hell is going on here?!" I ran into the house, leaving all my mail behind. I quickly closed the door, locked it, and leaned against it breathing rather heavily. Of course this was no match for a letter, since it merely slid under the doorway. I then took up the letter, shredded it, and hid in my room for a few hours.
Wouldn't you know that at 12PM sharp, the reassembled letter slid under my doorway and ordered me to open it? I finally gave in, ripped open the envelope, and the letter literally said, in an elderly man's voice:
Dearest Reader,
This letter was instructed to inform you that a duty of utmost importance has been bestowed upon you. For a year, you will be in control of summer. You see, the Misses, Mother Nature, has had a lot on her leaves lately, what with Global Warming opposing her and all, and needs all the help she can get. I don't know how much longer I can put up with her stress-induced
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