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It used to be so perfect! Julie sat next to her ex husband Tyler and as he talked about how things had been for him it was like the words were almost muted as her mind traveled a million miles away. She did not want to look at him, and through distance she knew she would not cry.

He talked about his new favorite book and she thought of those long walks. She remembered them well. He used to tell her walks meant nothing, but she convinced him, in the park, on one long Winter day that seemed like a thousand years ago. They kept talking about going to California, humming the song "California Dreamin", then... It hurt to think of the rest.

He talked about his new exporting business and she feigned interest.... The she decided to hurt herself some more, and trailed her eyes back down to his hand and down to his finger and... yep. Still there. The ring. _Not hers_. She looked up at his face right as he told a bad joke.

And then she started laughing. She started laughing because it was sad and terrifying but none of it mattered. She looked into Tyler's face and saw autumn leaves and the way the day looked the first time they kissed. His perplexed smiling expression right now was just a reflection of what he had looked like after the first time she told him she loved him.

She knew she'd said it too quick.

They ordered dinner and she kept asking why, why he had to be the one she fell for, why any man had to be everything. Three years since the divorce and he is already engaged. Called her up today out of the blue and asked for dinner, after two years of silence!

He knew her too well. He knew she would not be able to resist the urge to prove she was over it. She thought she could do it. Maybe she just wanted to see him again....

"I can't be friends with you," she blurted out.

The painful expression that crossed his face reminded her of a Picasso painting she saw once, frozen in time. "I miss being friends with you."

"You of all people know that's not how it works. I don't even know why you called me."

"I was finally in town."

"Sounds temporary."

He stares at her for a long second. "I just think... maybe I was wrong, maybe it isn't best to cut that tie. Maybe-"

"You can't cut _that_ tie halfway. Not that one."

It seemed like they just sat there in silence forever, just staring at each other.

"So what now?"

"We finish dinner."

"And?"

"Just the dinner."

She felt so cold. She felt that thing well up in her chest and thought she was going to cry, but she held steady. Didn't even shake, didn't

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