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No one wants to think about placing aged loved ones in a retirement home. We like to think of our parents as they were when we were raising us - independent, healthy and mentally fit. We don't want to talk to them about the issue. And often, parents feel the same way. The discussion can be awkward. But when we put it off, and finally recognize that the parent can no longer safely function alone, we have little time to educate ourselves enough to make the appropriate choices.

Because there are different types of care facilities available, "retirement home" creates a different picture for everyone. Your parents might equate it to a nursing home, which, back in their day, was commonly a hospital-like setting with care received by nurses and nurse's aids. Even the best ones smelled, the care was often suspect, and no one wanted to go there. These still exist today. But nursing homes have improved. And there are different types of retirement home facilities, with care that is tailored toward different abilities. To choose the correct retirement home, you need to know what kind of care your family member requires.

If the parent can walk or wheel himself, he is considered ambulatory. If the parent is ambulatory and still has the mental and physical capabilities to care for himself, and perform "activities of daily living", a standard retirement home is the best. Most residences are either apartments or suites, have private kitchen facilities, as well as a dining room, provide community activities and, quite often, cleaning services. It's similar to living in an apartment.

If your parent is ambulatory but needs help with activities of daily living, additional medical assistance, such as taking medications or receiving shots, or has a chronic medical condition that makes it unsafe for him to live alone, an assisted living facility is a good fit. In most assisted living facilities, the parent can live in a private room or suite, or share a suite with another resident. There are also assisted living homes. Many allow the residents to bring their own furnishings. Some have kitchenettes. Meals are usually prepared by the facility and served in a dining room. The nursing staff provides medical assistance and the staff monitors the residents for medical changes. Some assisted living facilities have special units for patients with memory problems, such as Alzheimer's disease. These units have special programs, and more structured schedules. They are also locked, so that residents

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