by Lisa Decandia

Created on: May 05, 2007   Last Updated: May 11, 2007

Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. While each plan to become a better person will vary according to the individual there are a few elements that are essential to any plan to become a better person.

Cultivate a humble attitude. None of us know everything and every encounter we have with others is an opportunity for betterment. The less I know the more I am able to learn. Bettering myself is about my willingness to learn.

Cultivate a listening heart. The best way to learn about myself is by listening to others and hearing their reactions to me. How people respond to me can communicate my strengths and weaknesses. In every encounter I have with others they will have a reaction to my body language, my tone, the content of my words, and any physical contact we may share. For years whenever I tried to correct my daughter she would shut down and refuse to listen to me, she was defensive throughout the entire encounter. I often thought she had a problem until I noticed my husband and my other daughter reacting in the same fashion. Their defensiveness to the things I said was saying something to me. While my complaints may have been justified and my words true, my attitude was hostile and disrespectful. Had I not listened to them I would not have necessarily known that to be true. Cultivate a heart that is able to hear the silent communication of those closest to you. After all, the truth has the power to set you free.

Cultivate a generous spirit, it is better to give than to receive. A generous spirit doesn't need to be approached for help or even begged, it is able to recognize the unspoken needs of others through the visionary ability to perceive that one day they or someone they know may have these same needs. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...you can't help but become better as your heart grows softer with compassion.

While no one can give an A,B,C or 1,2,3 plan to become a better person there must be a plan that not only identifies what better is but how to get there. After all, those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

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