TEN TIPS FOR PARENTS WHO WANT TO HELP THEIR CHILDREN AVOID TEEN PREGNANCY:

1. Start building their sense of self-respect in their toddler years.

2. From the time they're young talk about how nice it is when people
are married, grown up for a while, and ready to be excellent parents
before they bring a baby into the world. Try to create the impression

that this is what intelligent, sensible, and mature people do and
try to create the impression that there's something admirable or even
"cool" about people who do this.

3. From the time a child is young try to make him/her see him/herself
as someone who has and deserves a future and not someone who has
no future when it comes to plans for education, careers, or even
just being single and being able to have an apartment and travel.

4. Talk to girls about the reality that teenage boys are often driven
by their hormones to want to have sex in general, and that many boys
who are "out for one thing" do exist, even if that, themselves,
think their interest in a girl is something else. Also, though,
nice boys are not immune to the long-time girlfriend when the two
are alone together. Tell girls they should not interpret a boy's
moves as particularly flattering or as love, even if a boy really
also likes the girl.

5. Talk to girls about the fact that Nature has not designed their
sexuality the same as boys'. Talk to them about how there is something
to be said for not getting to be 21 years old and having "been around
the block too many times".

6. Talk to boys about how girls often say they're on the pill when
they're not. Talk to them about how girls often want to have a baby
because that's so much a part of being a girl who is in a relationship
with a boy and wishes they could be married with a baby. Emphasize
that if they have sex with a girl and a pregnancy occurs their life
will not be their own, they probably won't be with the girl forever,
and they'll probably have a child to whom they won't get to be a
father and for whom they'll be expected to pay support.

7. Emphasize how teen pregnancy can result in long-time poverty for
either or both parents and how it can reduce or at least dely
getting the education that will get them a job that pays well.

8. Talk about how crummy it is to have a baby and not have a house
or apartment of their own and how, instead, babies are often
pretty much raised to school age by grandparents.

9. Talk about how these days nobody ever leaves open the possibility
that teens can decide to hold off on having sex until they're old
enough so that if a pregnancy did occur it wouldn't be "the end of
the world".

10. If at all possible, find ways to keep available time and privacy
to a minimum. Don't allow kids in the house when there aren't
adults present. Stall on letting them have a car. Set a curfew
for younger teens. Until they're older teens don't allow dating
unless they're with a group and at a special event.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Hunt Warren.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

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