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in Dina's mind: This was the woman who yelled at her: "You never finish anything that you start...so why bother!"

After that, Dina was always on the edge of talking to her mother, about apologizing for her behavior, if that was what had made her mother mad at her all the time. Everytime Dina was about to say something, her mother somehow or another pushed her away.

Confusion and emotional conflict became the norm for Dina over the next 2 months.

Then came the day...April 21, Dina's 20th birthday. She arrives home from school. Her father is at the kitchen counter, with a package in his hand. He hands Dina the box, says "Happy Birthday, you're mother died today...you'll have to tell your sister, I can't."

The confusion that reigned supreme for the last couple of months, vanished. On auto-pilot, Dina went up to her sister's room to tell her the news. Dina could not cry, her sister, the baby of the family, would do all of that for her. Dina had to focus completely on the job at hand.

The next few days were a blur. Dina could not attend her classes; funeral arrangements had to be made, her father wanted her to assist him in picking out the coffin, choosing the outfit her mother would be laid to rest in, and finalizing the burial arrangements.

Oh! One last request by her father: Dina was to fix her mothers hair for the open casket display.

Dina's breaking point came after the funeral, in the limousine, away from the church, back to her home. It felt like she should never stop crying. The duties were over, but the pain of never having 'talked' to her mother came and weighed very heavily on her mind and soul.

The sadness permeated her mind, to the exclusion of her surroundings. Auto-pilot was still on full blast when she had to return to school the next Monday.

She passed through the doorway to her biology class, and stopped short. Auto-pilot kicked off, and she became aware. She held very still...her eyes swiveled back and forth, taking in her surroundings.

In her mind she was 'hearing' everything at the same time...Mark leaning over his desk, talking to Sylvia, knowing what he was about to say and that Sylvia would answer: "Yeah, the project is due next week. How did you do on the test yesterday?" The teacher at the board, back turned, writing something, Dina answered as she moved into her seat: "I'll come in at lunch to do the test..."; the teachers surprised look, as Dina realized he had not even spoken yet.

It was all so weird, she knew she hadn't done this before,

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