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The previous few years had been hard on Dina, with the ever present, verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother. The only support she ever really received was sort of second hand: her father was always encouraging her to use her mind, that her brain would be her salvation, that positive thinking was a way through it all.
The year she moved back home, at 19, her mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Life was sort of surreal, during that time. Dina spent her morning free classes at the hospital, sitting beside her silent mother, who was constantly hand-sewing or knitting something. No conversation ever took place; just hellos and goodbyes.
Dina would go to school, visit her mom, go to her part-time job, and then home to look after her younger sister and try to be there for her father. School was a bit on the weird side. The majority of Dina's teachers were only a few years older than herself, the youngest being her Biology teacher.
The rule at home with her dad was this: You are an adult, now. You know our expectations of your behavior and I will respect your decisions.
There were a few time in the first semester, that this was a challenge of sorts, with some of Dina's teachers.
The school always required tests to be brought home and signed by a parent. The first time, Dina signed it herself, according to her interpretation of the expectations that her father held for her.
Of course, it was returned to Dina, with a note attached, that Dina's signature was not appropriate. Dina took it to her dad, with the note, and her own apology for not being able to convince this teacher of her adult status.
Her father wrote back a response: "You will no longer require my signature on ANYTHING, home work, tests, absentee slips, etc. My daughter is an adult in her own right and as such will take care of her own affairs".
That was the first and last time he signed anything for Dina. The teacher that had put up such a fuss, was the 23 year old Biology teacher.
Dina's mother came home at Christmas after her radiation treatments were completed. This was probably the quietest time Dina ever had with her mother.
It was in February when Dina's mom began having Dina collect some of her belongings, giving instructions to Dina as to where or to whom each was to go. The last item, was her paint box, containing all of her oil paints, brushes, palettes and other supplies. Dina was to receive this, with a promise to continue the work that Dina had started.
A conflict of emotions rose
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I call this "A Letter From Upstream". It's a letter from me to the child I was, a bit of creative deja vu.
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