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physical assault to your person. Pop quiz time! Do you A) Make unreasonable demands to confuse him into silence. B) Distract with a bribe. C) Remain calm, make a reasonable demand and then follow through with the consequences. D) Scream right along with him, matching his octave changes. The answer was C, yet I have used B more times than I care to mention. It's a momentary fix, but a long-term hassle!

Step Three: Stick to your Semi-Automatic Guns!
You have told the convulsing monster on the floor that mildly resembles your child that if they don't cut it out before you count to three, you will be leaving. And that ice cream you had promised before will not be making an appearance. Once the count down starts, DO NOT attempt to draw it out (two-and-a-half, two-and-three-quarters.). And once you hit three, drop everything and leave. I know it's a hassle when you are three items from checking out, but it's worth it. You are the parent. You are the LAW in this town. So, you have absolutely nothing to eat in the house and your toilet paper supply is dangerously low. You will survive. This is War, my friend, and in some instances, we must make sacrifices to win. Walk out and do NOT, under any circumstances, fall for the but you promised' line concerning the ice cream. For every action, there is a consequence. Cause and effect. It's probably a good thing to learn early in life. If you fall into that trap, your child has just learned a new trick to get to the ice-cream faster.

Step Five: Kindness After Surrender
Your child miraculously took you seriously and stopped bruising his fist against your inner thigh. Instead of huffily throwing him in the cart and continuing with your shopping, take a few minutes to love on him. Tell him how proud you are of his decision to be human and rational. That you love them so much and they really are the greatest kid in the world. This instills and reinforces the angel part of your child and diminishes their devilish tendencies. They want your attention. That's why they started screaming in the first place. Show them an alternate means to the desired result!

Step Four: Giving Yourself that Motivational Pep Talk
You are the parent! You are the adult and must remain in control. They will call you names. They will claim that they hate you. They will attempt to get you arrested by loudly screaming that they don't know you as you drag them out the door of the toy store. You must remain in charge.

Just remember that this will soon pass. At which point they will then be teenagers and you will be in a different forum trying to figure out how to get them to talk to you. Good luck!

Learn more about this author, Dominique Chambers.
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