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This is a test. It is only a test. Don't freak out. If this were a real emergency, instructions would be provided.

Our children did not come with manuals (mine didn't anyway), so everything you read isn't going to work. But you aren't stupid. You know this. You keep researching. You keep up on new ideas and techniques to handle that meltdown moment when your angelic child suddenly, without warning, morphs into a minion of hell. You keep praying for the day when that light bulb of reasons clicks on in their brain. And you're here. Reading the articles other parents have posted. Good for you. Take a deep breath and remember that you ARE a good parent, or you would have left that screaming ball of rage on the doorstep of some poor hermit monk's cave.

Here's the breakdown on how I have kept the little sanity I have managed to salvage through my parenting. My amazingly intelligent, manipulative and oftentimes devilish three-year-old daughter has used everything from screaming uncontrollably over a My Little Pony to yelling, "Stranger Danger!" as I pull her out of the store. Reminding her what life would be like should Mommy be thrown in jail doesn't seem to phase her one bit.

Step One: Remain Calm on the Home Front
Are you that parent that honestly believes screaming threats at your child while they're throwing a fit is going to solve anything? It solves my question as to where they decided that screaming for they're desired result was going to prove fruitful. Everyday you set an example. Your husband didn't take out the trash for the millionth time. He walks in from playing golf all weekend and asks what's for dinner. You were stuck with five screaming children and a pile of laundry that rivals any pyramids built by ancient cultures the entire weekend. Quick, what do you do?!?! You are justified in losing your mind, however, is that the best way to accomplish your goal? You screaming accusations and insults at your inconsiderate husband may feel like the best thing you've done for yourself in weeks, but it teaches your children something you don't want them to learn. The tantrum in the store didn't start at the store. It started at home.

Step Two: Remain Calm on the Front Lines
So, you have calmly told your precious babycakes that they are not allowed to ride on the conveyor belt for safety reasons. You have given rational reasons and are attempting to calmly enforce your law. Your child is rebelling by using every last high-pitched note in his arsenal with the occasional

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