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Assertiveness is to be able to ask for what you need, want or deserve. You own it, it's yours. So many people feel guilty about asking for what they want for fear of being dominating No, there is nothing at all wrong about asking for what you perceive as belonging to you for one reason or the other.
Even though some people might see you in the wrong light, assertiveness is the way to go because it is essentially the honest approach.

Suppose someone asks you to go out with them for a drink after work? The only caveat is that they just happened to forget they were bringing someone else along, someone you might be having a little communication 'gap' with at this time. Is that fair to just dump a problem in your lap? Is the person who invited you initially doing this purposely, i. e. trying to get you two to patch things up in a hurry? Are you prepared to face off on a debate over a margarita? All these things going on in your head make you feel uncomfortable even before you leave the place of business. How will you feel when what was to be some pleasant conversation and a drink with a co worker turns into a stomach turning encounter.How did this get so far out of hand, anyway?
You could be dealing with a friend that is passive=-aggressive. Forget assertiveness.
Passive-aggressors go bursting right past passive and assertive to get their way before you know what hit you. You are dust before you start. There is no way to deal with these types if you haven't learned to take that which is yours, and I am not speaking of something that doesn't belong to you, because honesty is something we all deserve to be treated with. I say 'treated' because it is a treat nowadays to be treated with honesty.
The poor passive person. I feel sorry for these types. They are like the guy that always picks up the bill and kicks himself all over the room as soon as he says'good-bye'. Over and over he gets walked on, abused and treated second rate because no one appreciates him, they just take him for granted.
The aggressive person is of course easy to spot, they are right out there in the open.
Who I find most abusive is the passive=aggressive because you never know where he/she is hiding, because hiding is, in my opinion, what they do best. You think they said this, but in actuality, they said that and when it hits the wall, you will probably always be on the losing end. They use more camouflage than they used in the last war.No, there's only one technique I have found after

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