1 of 8

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

goes insane again - vulnerable family members, ties to organized crime), plant a fake note saying he's kidnapped Mary-Jane and Aunt May, and just wait on top of Parker's roof for him to come home. Batman has access to a big giant blinky-computer, police databases, and probably some satellites. Parker has Google.

8 - Batman has beaten much cooler villains - giant crocodile, killer clay-man, clown who'll kill you if you don't laugh at his puns, crazy-gas-making scarecrow, etc.

9 - Batman even trains while he has sex - Catwoman looks like she would make him work for it, Mary-Jane and Gwen Stacy would settle for the five-minute "Peter-thon."

10 - Hit and run. Batman can use the remote control on the Batmobile to just run Spidey over - if he dodges the car, you hit him with the plane - or, hell, even the boat.

11- Batman's latest costume is black. Spidey's is red and gold and looks like a reject from a Chippendale's show. You can see it from space.

12 - Batman outnumbers Spider-man at least 3:1 when it comes to sidekicks. Nobody wants to help Spider-man, they all just take-take-take.

13 - Spidey is too much of a smart-ass. He'd be making a joke after knocking Batman to the floor, and then get punched in the face mid-sentence. This isn't pro-wrestling son, leave the microphone at home.

And that is, conclusively, why Batman would beat the living hell out of Spider-man.

Learn more about this author, Michael Collins.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Batman versus Spiderman: Who would win?
We want to hear your view. Write now!