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Ask ten married women why they had an affair and you would probably get ten different answers. There is no one, all inclusive, answer to why some married women have affairs. But we do know some of the answers to this question.

For a few women, affairs are not relevant because she and her spouse have an open relationship, meaning, that they are free to have relationships with others. I find that extremely difficult to comprehend, but according to a survey done not long ago, it's true.

Opportunity and proximity are another reason for affairs. Husbands and wives both work out of the home in a large number of households. He's a good husband, is attentive to the children and he helps with domestic chores. When he finally goes to bed, it's for sleep and not for sex. At the office, she shares stimulating conversations and catches the eye of a co-worker. They talk, he admires her abilities and her beauty; he builds up her sense of worth and attractiveness. Sparks fly between them and you have the recipe for a full blown affair.

Stay at home moms are vulnerable too. She has young children and is somewhat isolated from the community. Her husband often works late, and is tired when he comes home. His participation in the family unit is very small. She volunteers at a hospital for two days a day week just to get out of the house and make new acquaintances. She meets a man who pays her a lot of attention and she feels excited and needed for the first time in a long time.

Another type of woman who has affairs is the risk taker who is looking for a thrill. Her marriage is not exciting but she loves her spouse. She has affairs but has no intention of leaving her husband. Occasionally, this woman does get caught and loses her family.

A recent survey showed that 15% of married men and 7% of married women have had sexual affairs. The affairs usually happen between the third and fifth years of marriage, but can happen anytime in the marriage. Most of the time the spouses believe that they have 'totally' gotten away without being detected.

A high percentage of women don't cheat because they know the risk of tearing apart the family and its not worth taking the risk.

One way to keep a marriage intact is to resolve conflict before it reaches the point of no return. Unhealthy marriages are filled with depression, anger and hostility. That's not good for a love-life or a family.

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