7 of 204

Write now Article Tools

Page 4 of 6

the previous days drive and not the cold. Upon exiting the bathroom, I saw the kids using my toothbrush as a racing car over the track of carpet stains in our room. Using my finger with some toothpaste, I made a mental note to find somewhere to buy a new toothbrush and we piled back into the car and headed east, but first stopping for breakfast at the yellow arches of McDougals, just past the Kurger Bing and Taco Belle. This Bizarro World of a burg had, it seemed, split from the franchise feudal-overlords, and suddenly the Pizza Mutt made sense to me as I exited town after buying some snacks at the local 6-10.

I noticed several things on our way through Ohio. First, the entire highway system is under construction. From border to border, it was crossovers, uneven pavement and double-down-to-single lanes. Second, it's the deer-road-kill capital of the entire United States. How many times can you explain to two young children that "Bambi is just resting by the side of the road" when Bambi's head is twisted completely around? Last but not least, I think Ohio makes most of its operating budget from traffic fines. Every twelve feet, there was a state trooper with a hand held radar gun. Not being one to exceed the speed limit, I was only mildly paranoid of being pulled over and reliving a scene from a B movie where I would be turned into sausage and sold at some road side stand to hungry tourists. With my luck, I would be shipped to the snack bar at the Lincoln log cabin, just a short thirty-eight miles away.

My kids are really great, don't get me wrong. They just don't have the patience to sit through a regular restaurant meal, so we opted for McDonald's Playplace locations. Happy meal toys started to fill the backseat, while stray french fries were beginning to scent the air of the van as would one of those hanging tree-shaped air fresheners.

Jacob and Noah seemed very happy to play with their toys and draw on their new Crayola lap boards...or the vans door vinyl, the upholstery and the triptych (causing me to detour down what I thought was a major highway because it was bold red, and ended up 38 miles from that stinking log cabin again!).

When travelling on a trip of this sort, it's important that you, the driver, find attractions that astound and amaze you, above anyone else in the car. It's your only reward for the constant leg cramps and rump rash you will undoubtedly suffer. I was lucky enough to end up within a few miles of Lake Erie. I had never seen any of

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Memoirs: Traveling?
We want to hear your view. Write now!