My favorite Nephew and this girl (I will call her Linda) have been
dating for over a year now he brought her over our house when they
first started dating and she seemed like a very nice girl. She was very
attentive to our Nephew and seemed to hang on every word and gesture
that he did they looked very happy. I invited them to our New Year Day
get together and then I witness the most disturbing thing it seemed
that Linda was very angry about something and she and my Nephew got into an
argument and she HIT! him on the arm and yelled at him to the point
that he told us that they had to leave. And I was floored! by Linda's
behavior so much so that I called my Nephew to see if he was alright
and to ask if something was seriously wrong with Linda. He shocked me by
telling me that she is this way a lot of times but mostly when they are
alone. Now they are talking about getting married with Linda making
plans to wed a couple of months from now. This is a big step in my mind
and I am so afraid that my Nephew has gotten a hold of someone that may
have anger management problems and needs to seek professional help. Are
my feeling wrong about this please help I am so concerned for the safety of my nephew. I give my friend this advice about her nephew I first said if this was a niece in this type of seemly tumultuous relationship you would have probably been moved to act more strongly in suggesting that they seek a way out. I understand that when we talk about abuse it usually center's around a man abusing a woman but there are now a lot of cases where women are the abuser's. In fact it maybe more common than we want to admit for even when I was coming up I had a neighbor that
"wife" seemed a little bossy in fact my mother would call him " hen pecked."
Now there is a chance that this volatile relationship could work itself
out, but as it seems to me from your description I do not think it
will.
Your Nephew does not understand that he may have a lady with more
issue's that express itself in anger as well as being controlling that
once in a marriage could turn deadly for women do KILL their mates as
well as men. And once married she may even isolate him from his family even more than she has now the National Domestic Violence Hotline has a staff of counselors who could provide recommendations call 800-799-SAFE or visit www.ndvh.org.
It is my understanding that they are set up to help not only women but
men as well that may find themselves in an abusive relationship. Please
tell this to your Nephew as soon as possible and let him know that you
love and respect him and only want the best for him. But do not "down" his choice of a mate for sometimes to our horror it will make them cling closer to them and blind them to the fact that what you have said it right until it is too late.
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