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what I'd been doing up to now and it really didn't seem to be a big deal.

The next day, I arrived at the hospital to find my sister in a wheelchair, out in the day room. Her best friend was kneeling down next to her and holding her hand. Again, my sympathy was about as flat as a dime and I couldn't help thinking "oh, dramatic!". I again voiced, "There's nothing wrong with my sister", and asked my sister, "Do you truly have a tumor?" To my surprise, she said, "Yes".

Where would I get such an idea that my sister was on the same plain as myself? Was there something wrong with me? I later realized that just because the Lord was teaching me, it didn't mean that the whole world was right there with me, learning the same things. I was on my own, with this thing. It was me and the Lord doing this faith walk thing. It began to sink in.

Wednesday morning, I went to see my sister and got the shock of my life. She looked worse than before and told me that the X-rays confirmed a huge mass in her lung. I felt the blood drain out of my head and almost lost it, right there but remembered something very important. Up to this time, I had been obeying the Lord and standing on a faith statement that I didn't even realize was important. I couldn't let up now. That's what the Lord had taught me.

Thursday, the whole family met in the waiting room while my sister went to surgery. As I sat there, what I call the 'fearbies', began to creep into my being. That growing panic, realization and fear that begins to climb right up your gut, reaching toward your heart, ready to squeeze the life out of you. "This can't be happening."

I focused on what the Lord had taught and said over and over, "There's nothing wrong with my sister". Now I had to hang on to it, it was that or fall apart.

The doctor came to us and sat down to explain what they had found and what they had removed. According to him, out of the 3 lobes, they had to take the top and middle, leaving only the tiny bottom tip. I said, "There's nothing wrong with my sister", but my mind was exploding. Inside was "No! No! This can't be happening!" but I knew, no matter what I saw, no matter what I felt, I had to stand on that statement and not let go.

We were allowed to go, one by one, into the recovery room to see her. When it came my turn, I walked up to her bed and held my eyes straight out in front, until I could muster the courage to look down. As I finally allowed my eyes to behold my baby sister, my heart felt like it was going to crush

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