by Fyibyit

Created on: May 02, 2007   Last Updated: May 03, 2007

Putting aside religion and law. The idea of waiting for marriage in order to have sex is thinking that you will only know that one person so intimately and that in itself makes that one person stand out above all others. There is no room left for jealousy, insecurities, or let downs due to wondering if you perform as well as the partner before you or wondering if your partner will be 'as good' as your last. You and that one person grow and learn together, no outside influences. Also being at the same level of innocence not only strengthens the bond of the marriage but also sets up a mutual understanding of that innocence.

Let's look at the two big reasons why people engage in sex before marriage. Recreation(it's fun) and Intimacy.

Recreation: Sex is seen by a lot of people as just plain fun or a cure for boredom. All relationships aside. If you have it use it and use it good. No forethought of who, why, where, when or how come. It feels good, you can do it alone or with as many people as willing to participate. There is always a new way to do it, new place to try it, new position, technique, what have you. You don't have to be any certain age to start, though there are laws against what age groups can participate in it together. You don't have to have any special rights, there is usually always someone out there willing, if not you can always pay for it. Oh and of course practice makes perfect, right? It can only get better. You may go into each sexual relationship with the thought that when you do finally meet the person you want to marry then you'll be already set up to have a satisfying sexual relationship with that person.

Intimacy: When you think of sex in a committed relationship it's a sign of intimacy, love, respect, trust, etc. It also helps builds those qualities in a relationship. A lot of people feel if they're ready for sex in a relationship then they love, trust, respect etc. that person. Since intimacy is a very big part of any serious relationship, sex is seen as just another piece to the relationship bond building puzzle, right?

Here is something I like to remind myself as well as other people when discussing sex and intimacy in a relationship. Intimacy is something that no relationship can survive without. You can not have a healthy relationship with anyone if you are never intimate. No matter how new or old the relationship is, intimacy is the key to moving things forward, becoming close to that person, building a bond that can stand the test

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