by Daniel Taverne

Created on: May 01, 2007   Last Updated: November 07, 2008

What kind of vehicle do you drive, and what does it say about you? Do you drive around town trying to look cool in a Pacer? Maybe you're a petite young girl boldly taking up two parking spaces at the mall with a Hummer. What ever you drive, you can bet that your vehicle is saying something about you. It's for this reason that I'm offering the following advice: When choosing a vehicle to buy, think about its name and what it' might be saying, then choose carefully.

This process is never easy, however. Since there are many different makes and models on the road to choose from, finding one that's right for you can be quite baffling. So, prior to my own car shopping, I wrote down the names of vehicles (past and present) and separated them into categories that made it easier for me to choose. Since I was successful at getting a vehicle with a name I am sure I wanted, I felt inclined to share my thinking with you. Hopefully, after reading this, you will be better able to pick out an appropriately named vehicle that makes you feel good about your self.

The first few cars I came across fell into the named-after-high-class-places category. I thought, if I drove one, it would mean that I would become high class. Well, I test drove a Monte Carlo, a Malibu, and even a Park Avenue, but guess what? I'm still a redneck! I even considered buying a vehicle named after the breakfasts served at Motels all across the country, but, because I didn't want people to look at my car and get hungry, I turned down the offer for the Continental.

The next vehicles I looked at fell into another more interesting category. I looked at a Chevy Blazer, which looked nice enough, and a Chevy Nova, which even though it was a little older, it looked good also. After I considered them for a while, I thought, "Doesn't a blazer burn?" Then, I thought, isn't a nova an exploding star? I concluded these vehicles fell into the you-had-better-keep-your-distance category.

In addition to not wanting to own a car I had to wear fire retardant clothing in, I wanted a vehicle that would make people turn their heads and say, "Now there goes a real man!" If I couldn't imagine Sylvester Stallone admitting to driving it, then I told the dealer to keep it. Can you imagine Stallone saying, "I drive a Yugo?" Me neither. There were many manly named cars I looked at while shopping for my vehicle. There was that Trans Am, a Grand Am, Grand Prix, and even a Camero, and as I sat in each of them I looked at my reflection in

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