by Ethel Smith

Created on: May 01, 2007   Last Updated: August 22, 2010

There can be many reasons, some quite subtle, why people seek a divorce, but here are some of the most common ones:-

GROWING APART
Over the years it is easy to move away from each other in many ways. By this what I mean is that when you married you both will have been at a particular point in your life from which you will obviously have moved. As you grow and progress in life, one of you may want to develop and get a career, whilst the other may be happy to stay still and almost stagnate. This example and similar situations can lead to you living almost separate lives and finding that you have nothing in common ultimately.

CHILDREN
Children can be a blessing to some but may add to problems which you are experiencing. This could be a lack of children if one of you want's a child and the other doesn't. It could be the inability to have kids which is tearing your relationship apart. Finally it could be that you have children who are pulling you apart as a couple possibly emotionally and or financially.

MONEY
If money is tight, and in short supply, your life could feel very unstable and have many pressures. Some couples find that these sort of problems bring them closer together but for some seeing friends who have money, when they have little, can cause arguments which may lead to trouble.

SEX
Someones sexual habits and or lack of sex drive can cause a total breakdown in a relationship especially when a couple are first married and sex is a big part of their life. Often when things go wrong in a relationship it starts in the bedroom.

EQUALITY
If you don't have an equal relationship, and one of you is doing all the work, be it finances or household chores, sooner or later there may be resentment. As a couple you should share the good and the bad and work as a team.

EXTENDED FAMILY
In-laws, and families in general, can interfere and cause strife for a couple. Be careful as each of your families could cause you trouble by dividing your loyalties and causing rows.

COMMUNICATION
Last but not least is communication. All of the above can be solved, if you are prepared to be honest and sit down and talk about your difficulties. None of us are telepathic and often a partner does not realise how unhappy something is making you. If your marriage is worth saving have a pow wow, express your feelings and see if the situation can be resolved. Do not leave it too late, when your marriage has irrevocably broken down, to try and fix things. As they say 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone'

By the way I've been married 35 years to the same guy, and we've had our problems but we're getting stronger all the time.

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