Sadly the divorce rate amongst married couples is fairly high nowadays. I often hear older married couples saying that it wasn't the same in their day as there were not so many divorces and people behaved better towards one another. I have also considered that in the past it was frowned upon to get a divorce and that it is allot more acceptable now. People used to stay together even when they were unhappy and it was often a case of, 'put up and shut up', where people repressed their dissatisfaction and unhappiness, as this was how they were expected to behave.
We expect more out of our relationships and marriages now. Less couples get married under pressure from families and when we marry it is usually because we want to. The pressure to stay together if we feel that we have made a mistake is not as strong now. Having said that I believe that most people who marry and find themselves with marriage worries want to make things better and stay married if they can.
A major cause of rows and unhappiness in marriage is money issues. Often the couple find that they do not have enough money to live the lifestyle that they want to live. If there are children within the marriage then a lack of funds can cause even more pressure and the rows begin, particularly if one spouse is more responsible when it comes to money than the other. These rows can escalate out of proportion and be followed by divorce.
Another major reason for divorce is that couples don't always talk enough together and express their needs that are not being met. This lack of communication can cause unnecessary hurt and anguish. Our busy lifestyles mean that we have little time to talk about our feelings and what we want from our relationships.
Couples may find that they are not as sexually matched as they had hoped when first getting together. This can be the cause of allot of hurt feelings around the area of not feeling wanted and needed and is tied up with many other issues. As the subject of feelings around sex is difficult to express for some people worries can be allowed to fester until they become a big issue.
In the past we were even less likely to discuss such issues and it was considered correct, once again, to stay married despite sexual problems and dilemmas. Now everyone expects to be sexually fulfilled and some see a lack of success in this area to mean that their marriage is unsuccessful and so they divorce.
Another major issue as a reason for divorce is infidelity. Although some spouses may have cheated on each other in the past, spouses now have even more opportunities in which to do so. Both men and women often share the workload and so are more likely to meet other people associated with their jobs than in the days when the wife was a homemaker and the husband came home for his dinner at five pm on the dot.
There is hope if a couple are have difficulties and really want to work things out. There are marriage and relationship counselors who can be really helpful and start the ball rolling with the communication process. But for some married couples, problems seem insurmountable and they prefer to part ways.
Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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