by Amy Lynne

Created on: April 30, 2007   Last Updated: May 15, 2007

Unfortunately, infertility is still a serious problem that is misunderstood by many. The desire to reproduce is natural, and most men and women never anticipate having any trouble conceiving. Ironically, pregnancy is usually avoided for many years, and when the appropriate time comes, it is only then that a couple painfully learns that it is not as easy as anticipated.

Conception is a tricky thing-you must have relations at the appropriate time, and be educated about your body. There is no magic way of planning the timing of conception perfectly-every body is different and therefore, the appropriate timing can be difficult. Throw in bills, full-time jobs, and day-to-day stress and the "right" timing can seem impossible. Ovulation predictor kits can be equally as confusing and frustrating.

After a few months of attempting pregnancy, couples can begin to get frustrated, and their intimate relations can suffer. What was once a fun activity has turned into a pressure-filled duty. Frustrations may be let out in the form of arguments or withdrawal from your partner. Communication is essential. Don't just have relations for baby-making, be sure to tend to each others' needs even when the timing isn't "just right". Be supportive and passionate. Share your feelings, your dreams, even your dissapointments. Formulate a plan together, create a timeline, and find out each others limitation or ideas when it comes to contacting a professional. Does either partner have any religous or moral objections? Does either partner agree to treatment but only with specific limitations? Does either partner prefer to wait and possibly live child-free or adopt? You may know your partner in many ways, but almost certainly, until now, you haven't asked him/her these questions.

Then, there are the steryotypes, unsolicited advice and taboos to face. So maybe you've told your mother, or a co-worker, or a friend. Everyone will give you advice-a certain position, a certain vitamin. Others will tell you to "just relax". Unfortunately, for the woman who gets her menses after being filled with hope, there is no easy way to "just relax." Dissapointment once again. Emptyness. Only one who has been through this heartache can truly understand. The advice of non-professionals can sometimes harm more than it can hurt. And how about the male in all of this? His partner cries over her menses, and he cannot console her. A man, his self-proclaimed "job" is to simplify, to give solutions. This is a circumstance

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