begin questioning themselves: What if I'd done better? What if we were richer? What if I'd stayed at home with the kids? What if I'd be an A student at school?
Guilt too is a suffocating blanket. In the long term, it affects everyone who cares about the depressed person. Frequently, partners, parents or children of an affected person become co-dependent. What is co-dependency? The truth is, most people don't know. Co-dependency is a condition in itself- one in which people become obsessed with keeping everyone around them happy. This issue and depression are a toxic combination.
Isn't it obvious that depression can send shock waves out from the sufferer to their family, friends and wider community? The metaphorical war is spreading. A significant number of depressed people were children of depressed people themselves. There are varying theories about the cause of depression, but I personally believe it can be learned behaviour- children see Mummy or Daddy feeling sad all the time, so they think that is the right way to act. Otherwise, they may develop co-dependent traits, often present in the other parent. Co-dependents invariably attract depressed people, or even abusers.
This is why I firmly believe that depression is a serious family illness- one that needs to be addressed.
Friends of depressed people are not immune. I have been friends with a girl who had been silently developing depression. She chose to confide in me when she first had suicidal thoughts. I remember the feeling of numb shock. It remained even over the next few weeks as I tried to get help for her.
Teen depression and suicide is a very common problem. Maybe this is because young people are not very comfortable talking about problems to strangers- even people qualified to help us. Instead, we have a habit of turning to our peers. While I tried as hard as I could to help my friend, I was well aware that I wasn't really in a position to help, and as she fell down the depressive abyss, she very nearly pulled me with her. She is currently in hospital. In a lot of ways, I was lucky she survived, but I feel she will never be the person she was when I first met her again. I hope I'm wrong.
I know many of you will know someone who has experienced the pain of dealing with depression. Isn't that proof that this silent but deadly enemy is building strength? Maybe there is no real cure but there are a number of actions the community and affected people could take. If we all try to work together to understand
Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:
by Donna Golden
Depression is an insidious disease that I did not choose to have. The most terrifying depression is the one ignored by others
What do Sylvia Plath, Winston Churchill, Edgar Allan Poe and Robbie Williams have in common? They may have come from different
by Joe Gadrow
Depression is an illness that is often misunderstood. Many people believe that depressed people can just change how they
Add your voice
Know something about Depression and bringing care back into family illnesses?
We want to hear your view.
Write now!
Cast your vote!
Click for your side.
Featured Partner
The Responsibility Project is the brainchild of Liberty Mutual Insurance. As an insurance company, we like respons...more
hide