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Most preschool children experience being hit by other children at one time or another. If this is a problem for your child, there are ways to help him deal with it. The best approach is to work with both your child and his teacher to solve the problem.

The first thing you should do is listen to your child. If he complains that there is one particular child in his class who hits him frequently, talk about what is happening in the classroom when the hitting occurs. Ask him if it is a child he was playing with, or if the child who hits is intruding on your child playing alone or with other children. You need to find out as much about the situation as you can from your child in order to know how best to help him.

Assure your child that you are going to help him through the problem. Talk with him about what he should do the next time it happens. Encourage him to come up with ideas instead of telling him what to do. Make sure he understands that hitting back is not ok, as violence doesn't solve problems, and he will get himself into trouble as well. Encourage him to stand up for himself verbally, and to go to his teacher for help. Role play with him so he can practice what to do when the situation arises.

The next step is to talk to your child's teacher. Make sure she is aware of the problem your child is having. Remember that teachers are not allowed to discuss other children with you, so don't expect her to. You can tell her who your child talked about. Ask her to watch for problems. She can tell you some information about what she observes without naming the other child, so ask her to tell you if she finds there is a problem. Tell her what you discussed with your child about how he is going to handle the situation.

It is often helpful to talk with your child and his teacher at the same time to discuss acceptable ways to for your child to react when someone hits him. This is especially important if your child is shy about going to his teacher with problems. You and his teacher can make him feel more comfortable by talking about it together, to make sure you are both telling him the same thing.

Finally, follow up with both your child and his teacher. Ask him how things are going, and if his new techniques are working. Ask his teacher if she has noticed a decrease in hitting and if your child has been coming to her for help if it does still happen.

Communication between parents and teachers is essential in solving problems in preschool. Your child will benefit greatly if you keep an open dialogue with his teachers.

Learn more about this author, Marcia J.
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