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As any parent or caregiver of a toddler knows, they can be hard to get a handle on sometimes, or all of the time. Here are a few tips that I've found to be helpful:

1. Encourage verbal communication from an early age.
The biggest contribution to temper tantrums in young children is a lack of ability to communicate what they want or need. By encouraging your child to use their words and teaching them new words regularly you help enable them to convey what they want to you. Tell your child the names of every object you introduce to them. If they want a drink, say "Do you want 'insert child's name' cup?" When they do start to throw a fit, calm them down, then ask, "Can you use words to tell me what you want?"

2. Pick your fights.
Not every little thing has to go your way, remember that. If your toddler really wants to wear mis-matched socks, is it going to hurt them? No. Now, when it comes to matters of safety or health, put your foot down. Let them know that cookies are NOT for breakfast, and that they simply cannot play in the street. By not having to win every fight, you won't argue as much. And your child will realize that not everything has to start a battle of control. And hey, who WANTS to fight with a toddler anyways?

3. Let them have a say.
Give your child options. Let them pick which pair of shoes to wear, or what vegetable to have for dinner that night. It gives them a sense of responsibility and power.

4. Don't hit back.
The worst thing you can do when a child hits you, is to hit them back and say, "We don't hit, it's not nice!" Then you're just sending mixed signals and showing them that sometimes it's ok to hit, when it's not. Now don't get me wrong, the occasional spanking may be in order, but use it sparingly, or it loses it's effect and you lose credibility in your child's eyes.

5. NAPS!
Most children do not get nearly enough sleep. Two to four year olds need 10-12 hours of sleep a night, plus a 1-2 hour nap during the day. Children who aren't getting enough rest are far more unreasonable then those who are.

6. Be consistent.
If you tell your child not to jump on the bed, then let them do it sometimes, they will think it's ok all of the time. You'll wind up confusing and frustrating your child, making things that much worse. Remember that 'no' means 'no' no matter what.

7. Have a routine, and stick to it.
Children thrive on routine. Knowing what comes next during the day helps them feel like they know what's going on. When every day they have a different nap time or bed time or whatever they feel out of control and lost.

8. Finally, take heart.
Remember, at the end of the day, this is all a phase. Your child will get older and will get more manageable. Just stick with it, and it will be fine!

Learn more about this author, Sara Johnson.
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