He wasn't all that close a friend, so when I realized that the lack of activity around his house signaled his passing I was taken somewhat aback by my own sense of emptiness and sadness. Because he wasn't a close friend or a relative I came to think of the loss of him as "love-once-removed". It turns out, after giving his passing and my sense of loss a few hours of reflection, that loss-once-removed is loss nonetheless.

When life leads us back to the neighborhoods in which
we grew up we usually find - particularly if our neigh-
borhood was all residential - that things don't change much
from one decade to the next. Every so often someone
changes the color of a house or adds an addition, but for
the most part little changes. I have found that when I
walk down the same streets I walked down as a 12-year-
old even the cracks in the many-times-repaired sidewalks
have tended to re-form in the same places. The same
old trees line the streets (even the "face" on the tree
that stands on the corner and looks exactly like the tree
in the Wizard of Oz has not aged). Of course if one were
to go to the "main drag" in my hometown there are
a number of drastic changes that have been made, but
I'm talking about the residential streets that make up
the neighborhood in which I grew up a long time ago.

Of course, in all the years a certain percentage of the "old"
families have moved, and houses have been bought and
sold and sometimes sold and sold again. Still, though, there
are enough of the "old" people left to create the impression
that, for the most part, the people are as permanent as their
homes. It is these people who not only make up the community,
but have often built it.

Although there are times when a couple or a few neighbors
become close friends, in most cases neighbors can be divided
into two categories: the ones to whom one might say "Nice
day" and the ones who have been around so long their presence
alone contributes to the feeling that one is home. These are
the "fixture neighbors" (and I don't mean to demean their
status by using the word, "fixture").

In our little or large homes we all have our families. We have
our extended families, and we have our assorted friends and
acquaintances. We may not hang out with our fixture neighbors,
and we probably don't attend their children's weddings, and
sometimes there may even a small issue with a fixture neighbor
(maybe a tree one neighbor wishes another would cut down,

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Memoirs: Death of a friend?
We want to hear your view. Write now!