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When you wake up in a strange apartment with with a group of weird hippies and can't remember how you got there.

You run out of soap and decide to use the soap on the rope your grandmother gave you last Christmas and your lips and hands begin to swell up.

You pour orange juice on your cornflakes and coffee on your new sweater.

You electrocute yourself while making toast.

When you arrive to work late your boss is sitting at your desk waiting to have an "important talk about tardiness."

Your boss asks you why your lips are so darn big?

Everyone at work asks you why you decided to have plastic surgery when you were fine the way you were.

You run out of gas on the way home from work, when you ask a lady if you could borrow her cell phone, she screams and sprays you with Pepper Spray.

Your lips swell up even more.

After you are released from the Hospital Emergency Room you arrive home, while fumbling to open the lock, your neighbor, who doesn't recognize you, calls 911.

You check your phone messages, the only people who've called to see how you are is your grandmother and the weird hippies.

You receive an email from the person you've been dating online. They confess that not only are they married, but they are also going through a sex change.

You decide to go out and get drunk with the weird hippies.

Learn more about this author, Angelica Biel.
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