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rather than the way you are. Then as if that isn't enough, I will act like the story I made up about you is fact, and not fiction. A story becomes a story, and the reality of what is, becomes distorted into what we think the story is. My perception of you has more to do with who I am, than it has to do with who you are.

Misperceptions are frequently a cause of divorce. A couple visited me a few weeks ago, headed for divorce court, but hoping to salvage the marriage. They told me a story that I will share with you. The women visiting with a friend, who had a dog named J.R was simultaneously speaking with her husband on the telephone, while petting J.R. She told J.R, he was cute and needed to go outside, and she continued her conversation with her husband.

Months later sitting in a counseling session, the husband blurted out in an argument, " I know you had an affair, don't think that I am stupid." Stunned by his inaccurate comment, she asked him what in the world he was talking about, and he informed her of the time he was speaking with her on the telephone and he heard her tell JR he was cute. Sometimes people think things are one way, and they turn out to be another. We think we know how it is, and we know what we know. After all, we don't know what we don't know. We don't know what it is, until we check out the information.

Love takes time, patience and commitment. The number one reason for divorce is an inability to communicate expectations, and accept differences in the relationship. The same couple struggles have existed throughout time. What has changed today, that is different from previous generations, is our increased expectations, have led to increased "upsets."

Learn more about this author, Tammy Stoner.
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