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Kaitlin was friend like no other. She and I went through some great times together and we helped each other through some rough times. We were friends for many years. There are days that I still can't believe we are no longer friends. However, we both knew the time had come to say our tearful goodbyes and not look back. The memories are good, but the friendship was no longer healthy.

Ending a friendship is never easy, but sometimes there is no alternative. The entire concept of friendship certainly indicates that it should be positive and healthy for everyone involved. When things happen that make a friendship unhealthy or the friendship is often more negative than positive for either person, it is time to take a closer look.

It was hard to understand why Katilin's focus in life suddenly changed. Suddenly, she wanted to do things that didn't fit into the morals and values that I strongly held. When we were together, we would argue about decisions each other had made and it caused constant stress for us both.

A friendship should no longer continue if the two people are no longer enjoying time together. If there is constant stress or if either person is uncomfortable with the choices of the other person. A friendship also should come to an end if one friend does anything really dishonest or unfair to the other one. We all have enough stress and hardships in life that we don't need it from someone we call a friend. It may be a tough decision to make, but not as tough as trying to stay friends with someone that is no longer enjoyable.

Deciding how to end the friendship depends on the relationship. If it is going to be violent or loud, you may want to do it through a letter or on the phone. If you feel like you owe the person more than that, than set up a time to sit and talk. Chances are if you are feeling it, so are they and it won't be as hard as you imagine. Be willing to admit to your part in the friendship ending and be willing to really say good-bye. Many people don't want to end a friendship and then be friends again in a week.

Once the friendship is over, move on. Try not to dwell on how much you miss the person and find ways to make new friends. Get involved in things that interest you and you will surely find a more compatible friend. Don't hesitate to remember the good times and don't make the person a mortal enemy if you can avoid it. Instead, if you run into them, say a quick hello and move on. In the end, you will be happy you ended the friendship and it will be better for everyone involved.

Learn more about this author, Karen Meeker.
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