by Atlantic Lady

Created on: April 25, 2007   Last Updated: May 20, 2009

Hard as it may seem, sometimes it's time to call it quits with your old BFF, or at least time to quit calling.....

Friendships should be, by their very nature, mutually beneficial and when they stop being so, time to consider the hardest decision - is it time to end the friendship? No matter what the outcome you will have gained something from that person which makes you different than before you met them - remember and be thankful for that! Many times they are created by the circumstances of your life at that very moment, and those moments change - or should.

People can seem to measure their social and personal worth by the number of friends they can say they have, so they hang on to every last friendship, no matter the tatters it's in, or the sticky strings attached.... but are those friendships or notches on the bedpost as it were?

Friendship to one person is a life long sacred trust, to another a mere acquaintance qualifies as a friend. Some old and very dear friends we can forgive almost anything because we expect the same in kind - others are using us for their own gain and when they no longer get anything from us they swan off to another 'new' friend leaving us feeling some what dissatisfied, empty if not down right hurt - is that the time to put an end to the friendship?

Usually the easiest way to end a friendship is through attrition; this seems to take place almost naturally - the time spent together becomes less and less, the communications more scarce and just doesn't flow like it used to, then as the mutual interests become no longer mutual your friend starts hanging out with other friends as do you - this is starting to sound like a divorce - and in many ways it is just that - our lives change, our circumstances change; we marry, have kids, get sick, get well, change careers, live through tragedy - many friendships just don't have the staying power for all those ups and downs, so it's time to make new friends and let the old ones get on with their lives without the guilt.

Let them know, value the old friendship enough to let them know, perhaps that will be enough of a catalyst to spark the friendship up again - or not. And sometimes an old friend turns up in your world years later with more life experience under their belt and what you found interesting in the first place is back.

Be your own best friend first and the rest will follow. By leaving one friend you will open up the opportunity to meet and make new friends, and another chapter of your life begins.

Learn more about this author, Atlantic Lady.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.