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Many friendships have to come to an end because of one reason or another and the signs begin to show after the novelty of the friendship begins to wear off as we begin to see many things that tell that the friend really wasn't such a good friend after all.

Sometimes we bond with someone who seemingly has our best interests at heart only to find there is an ulterior motive and once it's discovered what it is, then the tie begins to deteriorate rapidly.

If you cannot respect a friend for whatever reason, then you can't love that friend, and to continue will only bring bitterness. You may find that you can't even listen to your favorite music that you once enjoyed together when it gets beyond a certain point. Even worse you can't stand to even look at someone who resembles that friend.

Just as in a marriage, you don't know who you married until after the fact, and if it goes beyond a certain point whereas the animosity builds up so much that anything after the breakup that reminds you of the person is like poison in you're mind. As much as you first loved someone, the hate can be just as great.

A truly good friend is one that thinks of you as much as they themselves in that they would never look for the angles that will benefit them in any particular circumstance at your expense, in other words, a user.

When you discover that over the years your friendship was based on your friends dependency on what you could do for them whereas you constantly are doing favors or solving problems for them even though they are fun to be around, then it's time to test the waters to see just how good a friend he or she really is by not allowing yourself to be used.

If there is a sudden change as a result whereas the friend no longer finds you an easy target because he or she knows that you've finally caught on to them, they will begin to show who they really are, and before it gets to the point of resentment, then it's time for the "It's been nice, but we no longer have much in common" farewell.

Good or bad, once you've built up a lot of good times with someone and you develop a bond over the years, it's hard to part as you always think of the good times, and miss those days when you both were really in tune with each other. But the good times can still be a part of your memory if you catch the need to end the friendship before a lot of animosity fills your heart.

Childhood friendships are the worse kind to end as they represent a time of life when everything was beautiful and you want to cherish those times in memory, but time has a way of changing good friends and when the change is obvious, then it's a matter of ending the friendship in a way that you still remain on speaking terms and in a good frame of mind, but yet in a way that you no longer spend time together. It's best to remain on good terms even though it has ended.

The best way to end any friendship is to totally honest and give the reasons why, and include yourself as part of the reason... It's not your friends fault that you've grown out of whatever it was that attracted you in the first place, and usually they will understand as they can recognize things are not the same anymore, so at least there is an understanding, and can still be acquaintances in the end.

Learn more about this author, Richard Serra.
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