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Every Saturday morning, kids all over America watch their favorite cartoons and children's programming on television. Approximately one third of their viewing time is consumed by commercials promoting sugared cereals, candy, and the hottest new toys.

These toys tend to be overpriced. (Duh!) After all, who do we think pays for all that expensive advertising?

The toys change weekly, but the advertising continues. Superheroes, movie-themed toys, TV characters, music video-based playthings compete for children's devotion.

Parents count the morning's diversions as a blessing, as they roll over in bed for a few more moments of peace and quiet. But their tranquility is short-lived. Before the credits roll on the first TV program, two or three tiny consumers appear by the bed.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can I have the ultra-radical-super-hydrophoni c-battery-operated-Captain-Cat astophe action figure with outrageous oppositional forces?"

"Daddy! Wake up, Daddy! Please, please please! I need the sweet-sleepy-slurping-snotty-f aced-sister-peepy-pokey-faced princess doll! Everyone's got it! You can blow her nose, and real snot comes out!"

What parent can resist such entreaties?

Seriously, if these companies are going to pump my kids up on Saturday mornings, after I've allowed them to tank up on the coolest-ever sweetened cereals, so that they pounce on my bed and persistently beg for the latest whiz-bang toys . . . .

. . . then I think I will simply send the kids out into the yard with an old tennis ball. They can have a lot more fun with our real, live dog (who, by the way, has already eaten last week's gotta-have-it action figure). She needs to go out anyway. Maybe I can stay in my PJs a few extra minutes.

Learn more about this author, Linda Ann Nickerson.
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