by Cherryl Floyd-Miller

Created on: April 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 30, 2007

Ever have the conversation where you can't get a word in edgewise? The other person is rambling on and on about themselves, their problems, their lives, their greatness, and you notice the person doesn't even stop to take a good breath? If you've been in this situation, you probably have been talking to a narcissist.

The best thing to remember is that you're probably not going to ever get a chance to have a healthy balanced conversation with this person. Narcissists thrive on self-grandeur and use any means necessary to keep the talk focused on themselves. They get frustrated with interruptions and will cut across you just to keep control of the conversation.

In these situations, you should be prepared to listen and nod a lot. Demand very little and expect nothing from the narcissist, whose major hot button is like the person who has an insatiable need for control all the time. The best thing you could possibly do is give the person control. Be honest if they do ever take a breath and let you talk, but be ready for that fleeting moment to be so brief it is next to non-existent.

Safely surviving the conversation with the narcissist requires that you know what the person wants. The narcissist will not read your mind because the only mind that exists in that person's world is his or her own mind. If the narcissist wants to be praised (and narcissists frequently do), give them many accolades. If it's flattery, find a way to link whatever you say to some kind of flattery.

The important thing to remember is that communication with the narcissist is often one-sided. There is nothing you can do to button the clasp on your "save-the-world" cape to save the person. Recovery from this kind of behavior requires professional help. Just be as honest as you can with the person, and always bring a lot of patience and compliments.

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