1 of 8

Write now Article Tools

Adagio

What happens when everything around you suddenly goes dark? How do you manage to see the light beyond the darkness, when there is no light to be found? How do you find your way home without any direction to it? There are dark and cold realms of depression that one must live through. And sometimes when all we want is a warm voice to hear your plea we are left with nothing but the silent walls that surround us. And all the positive people that we do so urge to console us, have nothing but negativity in their voice. What then? Your left again to the lone, self-pity you have. And this trapped, un-escapable feeling you have still lingers. But you go on with your daily life. Everyday the same thing without any change. And the more you want it change, even a bit, it won't. It only grows more. All your passions fade and your faith dies. And this never ending spiral of cold and ugly moments continues. Until you feel that you can't take it anymore. And the only escape you have is the one in which the only light you see is at the end of a gun. You contemplate and you struggle. But you realize that this is the only answer. You don't discuss, you don't ask for advice. All the people that you asked had nothing to say, so why should they have any say in this? You search for other things. Other ways. But this is the only answer. So you gather whatever strengths you have left and you make the choice that this is the only answer. So make our peace with those you feel need it. You go on with your days as if the answer didn't live in a box underneath your bed. You carry on until your birthday. And you wait. Not one phone call. Not one 'Happy Birthday' from the people in your life. So you buy a cupcake at the bakery and you ask for a single yellow candle. You come home and you watch your favorite film. You order dinner from a Chinese restaurant that delivers. You eat half of it and leave the rest in your fridge. You light your candle and turn out all the lights. Silent for a moment then you sing. You blow out the candle and there you are again like you always have been in the darkness of your own self. The kitchen clock clicks in your silence. As if waiting for you to make your move and finish this. Its cold in your house but you don't move to do anything. You sit at your table and you wait. As if an invitation is what you need to do this. There is nothing on your mind. You sit and you wait while the demons in your mind argue and contemplate. Is this what you want? Is this

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Essays: Desperation?
We want to hear your view. Write now!