Communicating With A "Know-It-All"

Communicating with a "know-it-all" requires a certain degree of cunning and skill.
Their "know-it-all" status must never be threatened, or your message will ultimately fall on deaf ears. Any effort to convince them that you possess some important information unknown to them is futile and will only lead to a battle of wits (which you will lose, usually by exhausted surrender). They WILL have the last word no matter what the cost.
Only time and personal experience will have the power to teach them that they still have a lot to learn.

So, why do we waste our time trying to get through to these individuals? Why do we not just let them learn things the hard way? Sadly, it is because so many of them are our own teenagers and, as parents, we have a responsibility to make every effort to give them some rather vital information. Other "know-it-all's" in our life may be co-workers whose ongoing ignorance could affect our own livelihood.

Whatever your reasons for trying to communicate with a "know-it-all," the following tips might come in handy.

1. Never indicate that you know something they don't.

2. Approach a topic as if you are the one who has learned something new. Say, for example, "Wow! I just learned the neatest thing, but you probably already know this." Without fail, they will ask what you've learned, opening the door for your message to get through, before they respond, "Oh yes, I knew that."

3. If you want to determine what they actually know about something, play dumb. Ask them to explain the subject to you. Ask a lot of questions, forcing them to use critical thinking skills instead of admitting they don't know the answer. Always appear enlightened by their answer.

4. Never argue with a "know-it-all." The more you try to convince them of something, the more they will tune you out.

Being a "know-it-all" is often caused by low self-esteem. Since knowledge is power, believing that they are all-knowing allows them to feel better about themselves and in control of their lives. Shattering that fantasy before they are ready can be emotionally damaging.

Learn more about this author, Carol Wohlfeil.
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