by Ted Sherman

Created on: April 23, 2007   Last Updated: April 26, 2007

"La donna e mobile" wrote Guiseppi Verdi in "Rigoletto." Roughly translated, it means women change their minds just too damn fast and often. It perfectly describes how they perceive men's clothing.

Young women will go to rock concerts and swoon over a bunch of sweaty, hairy howlers who're wearing torn clothing and stomping around on smelly sneakers. Brighter in the lovelys' love lighted eyes if the musicians haven't bathed in weeks, and the sweat is flying all over the stage and sprinkling the audience.

The same ladies watch movies and TV where the hirsute heroes are draped in the same kind of rocker rags as they dash about the screen killing the bad guys and saving the planet. The fewer the clothes on the actors, the more attractive they are to the feminine viewers.

Pre-teen girls go gaga over guys who are wanna-be gangsta rappers. If the boys are wearing a backwards caps, sweaty sweatshirts and sagging pants six sizes too large, those lucky boys are in for some serious pre-pubescent petting.

However, when it comes to dating, all of those same ladies expect real-live guys to dress exactly the opposite. You know the drill. Bathed, freshly shaved, wearing sharp suits, ties and shiny shoes.

Therefore, if you're a guy who is trying to impress a lady, the ultimate dress code to guarantee success is to wear what women want to see you in most. Your birthday suit.

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