If I have to communicate with a know-it-all, I usually start the conversation off with the words... "Look, you probably know this already..." and then I will go on to tell them what I think or give them the information they need. I finish the conversation with... "I don't know if I have all the correct facts, but I am sure you will be able to do something with that but either way I will leave it with you to think about".

If the know-it-all interrupts you while trying to impart the information to them, then wait until they have finished, and say... "Yes I can see where you are coming from but just let me finish so I know that I have told you everything I know, although I am sure there is probably something I have missed..."

I am very good at dealing with people like this, because I must admit, I used to be a terrible know-it-all, spouting off about stuff I hardly knew anything about, and generally, making myself sound much cleverer than I actually really was. I had no idea that I was like this until a good friend of mine actually plucked up the courage to tell me.

She managed to tell me one day that I was very "self opinionated". I cannot remember how the conversation came up or what we were actually talking about, but it did have the effect of making me stop what I was doing, forcing me to take a good, hard look at myself.

When she first told me how she felt about me, I felt very upset. My friend of course was full of apologies. She hadn't wanted to make me feel bad about myself, she had just wanted to help me to BE myself, I guess. It didn't stop me from feeling extremely embarrassed, and a little humiliated. However, the good thing is that it enabled me to explore the reasons that motivated me to talk in such a way and come to terms with the fact that I needed to make a couple of changes to my life.

Nowadays I am a lot nicer to be around. I do tend to be self opinionated, but I am always open to a bit of criticism and I welcome debate. I don't always hold that I am in the right all the time and will always be willing to take on new information or be corrected if the other person feels that I am wrong about something.

After all, we are only human are we not?

I feel that know-it-all's are people who actually have trouble communicating in a real sense of the word, and that their air of authority hides a social introvert with a lack of self esteem and confidence. I see no need to further erode the fragile relationship that they hold with their fellow man.

Learn more about this author, Jane Allyson.
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