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- That football lineman who's been kicking your ass since 3rd grade? He's most likely going to work for a landscaping firm when school's over. You're going places. The trophy wives won't care about the time Lincoln High beat Voke Tech, trust me...

- The people who make the truly profitable advanmces in science/math/technology most likely won't look like Tom Brady.

- You can master that really cool trick where you work variables into a calculator that produce the word "BOOBLESS" when held upside down.

- If you make a lot of money, you can hire people to stomp on whoever calls you "geek."

- Hot foreign exchange chicks might sort of join because that's what the AFS people told them to do.

- No matter what variables you're given, you have a formula that will spill out the product 69.

- There is a precise amount of friction that need be applied to the G Spot to produce howling, room-shaking orgasms... you can claim to be working on the formula.

- Jeff Goldblum kills the dinosaur, Jeff Goldblum (or however he spells it) blows up the Death Star II.... the guy who was beating Jeff up in high school vanished along with most of Manhattan, or was eaten by a Velociraptor.

- Why, that's a scientific calculator in my pocket ... AND I'm happy to see you.

Learn more about this author, Stacey Monponsett.
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