Whist your family may be a wonderful asset to you in many ways, they can also become a burden if you let them. It is important to keep harmony within the family in order for it to run smoothly but for this to happen all members have to play their part. It only takes one family member to upset the balance and create stress where it is not wanted.

One thing to try and establish if you think that you may be being emotionally bulldozed is why this could be happening. You may not be feeling terribly positive towards the person who is causing you upset but it can help to try to look at things from their point of view so that you can establish from which needs they are operating.

Could it be that this person is lonely and is trying to get some attention. If this is the case then if you assist them in finding new interests and meeting new people you may find that they bother you less and that when you do have contact with them it is a happy experience.

At other times family members may be experiencing fear that you could abandon them, particularly as they get older. When this happens they may increase demands upon your time and be excessively controlling of you. What they really want is to gain more control over their own lives and feel safe that you will always be there. Unfortunately their very behavior could drive you away if you do not understand why they are behaving this way.

It certainly is not just elderly members of the family who put pressure on other members. It could be a younger person who is afraid of leaving the safety of the home and branching out on their own. It could be a sibling who is jealous of the attention another receives or even a husband or wife who is controlling and uses manipulation to get their own way.

Where it is your spouse who is emotionally bulldozing you then this can be a truly stressful situation as you live with them and hardly have time to breath between bouts of manipulation, let alone form a plan for change.

Who ever is causing the problem try to get them to discuss the situation with you and agree to do so without shouting or crying. You need them to hear how it makes you feel to be on the receiving end as well as you need to understand them.

Once they realize that you really are upset or angry about their behavior you may find that they start to give you some more space of your own.

If this doesn't work then it may be time to get professional help from a family mediation service, or counseling on your own to help you deal with your feelings if they refuse to take part.

What ever happens, the most important thing is to get help if you feel you are at the end of your tether. Families can be wonderful, but you need to keep your independence also and strike a balance between the two.

Learn more about this author, Heidi Marie Fleetfoot.
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