IT'S A TALL ORDER
Forgiveness! Not an easy thing to do. Especially when you know that you have every right to hold onto un-forgiveness, anger, resentment and bitterness. So why should you let go of all these things? After all, you have a right! You've been hurt, offended, disrespected, abused, misused etc., etc. Yes, no one would blame you. Just hold onto all those negative emotions and let them eat you alive, from the inside out. Because you see, eventually those emotions will cause your body to fall into dis-ease and/or it will cause your mind to do the same.
But, you say, that's a tall order. No it's not! In Matthew 18:21-35, we are told exactly what to do when we are in un-forgiveness. Because God has forgiven us, we are mandated to forgive others as well. If we do not, we will be turned over to the tormentors. And is that not true? Are we not tormented mentally, being full of anger and bitterness every time the person whom we have not forgiven does or says something that bothers us? Does not our anger rise up inside of us when we think about that person? And then it may take us hours to calm down. Sometimes just the mention of their name will cause us anguish. So, why not take God's advice?!
I can talk to you about this because I know first hand that it works. I would advise a 3 step remedy. First forgive yourself because God has already forgiven you. The bible says "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Ps. 103:12). Therefore, there is no need for us to be angry and unforgiving towards ourselves.
Step two would be to forgive God, not that He really needs forgiving. However, if we are blaming Him for circumstances in our lives, then we must be honest with ourselves and forgive. Of course God is not to blame for that sick mother, or lack of finances, or an abusive spouse. Many of these types of circumstances are due to our own bad decisions and lack of understanding. Consciously or unconsciously, if we think God is at fault, then we must forgive Him.
The third step is to directly forgive the other person. Forgive him (her) for every time he hurt and offended you, did not understand you, abused you etc. Push through with this, because the end result is worth it. All of this leads to freedom. Anger, resentment and bitterness will be gone.
There will be joy in your heart and you will find yourself praying for the person that you hated just a few moments before.
Of course, this is just a suggestion. However, if you are in the throngs of un-forgiveness, why not try it. It won't cost you anything but it may release you to finally be yourself.
Learn more about this author, Josephine Meade.
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