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There are perhaps several reasons why we may say yes when we would really like to say no. One which springs to mind is the yes we say out of a sense of public duty. An example of this is when we say that we will carry out a task for charity or for the good of the neighborhood and community. Often we may wish to be helpful in our hearts, but our tired bodies do not wish to follow suit. So we say yes to the request, but wish we were doing something else more personal that we have needed to do, or simply wish we could put our feet up and rest.

Another reason that we may say yes when we want to say no is when we are asked to do something for extended family for example. Again, our spirit may be willing but we may have more pressing things we would prefer to be getting on with. When under pressure from family it can be hard to assert yourself.

In fact, pressure from another person who just doesn't give in is probably a major reason for this problem. We may attempt to put off saying yes to a request from a pushy person, but if they are insistent or make us feel unable to say no, then we may find ourselves saying yes instead.

When it comes to saying yes or no to family we often feel that we have little choice, as saying no would result in further difficulties and ill feeling.

Guilt is yet another good reason for saying yes when we do not really want to. If we feel duty bound to do something, or that others may feel hurt if we do not do it, we often say yes. Some people who make requests often know this and can use it to their advantage.

Other people may not wish to make us feel guilty at all, and would be hurt to know that we did feel this way, but carry on helping us to continue with our guilt trip anyway.

At other times the word yes just slips out before we have even realized that we would have liked to have said no! This can happen when we are caught out unawares by a request when we have too many other things on our minds or are in a hurry.

When this is the case it can be difficult to back out of the request by changing our minds as it would make us seem unreliable and untrustworthy.

The best way to deal with requests which are made in haste is to state that we will need to think on it, or better still, to ask the person making the request to choose a quieter moment to ask us.

When it is our family who are making the requests then it can help to decide whether we are taking on more than our fair share of responsibilities. It might just be that there are other family members, on occasion, who are better equipped to deal with certain issues and that it should be they who are asked for assistance rather than us.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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