by JLRoberson

Created on: April 20, 2007   Last Updated: May 14, 2007

"THE UPSIDE-DOWN CASTLE"

A REWORKING OF
HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN'S THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES

Once upon a time, there lived an emperor whose reign seemed in question from the day he took over the throne from his dearly beloved, deceased father. Fortunately, being the emperor, it was thought bad taste to remind him of his lack of legitimacy in the minds of so many of his subjects. Nor did anyone, except the fools living on nuts and berries in the fenced woods outside the city walls, still repeat the stories that the new emperor had poisoned his brother to get the crown, then smashed in his head with a flagpole bearing the seal of the kingdom when the poison, which had been rather weak and poorly mixed, failed to do its job and his slightly elder brother had shown up for the coronation anyway.

It was true this had happened in full view of all the people, but that was no reason to disturb the peace with any prolonged fuss about it. Even the elder prince's last words had been, "Please don't bear a grudge." The kingdom could not be a happy and prosperous one, everyone knew, if their crown was subjected to the insults and complaints some troublemakers could not help slinging at it, even if they were true. And the crown rested on this prince's head, so that was that. Besides, the princes were nearly identical anyway, and their factions had largely been united around a common favorite color.

Even the emperor's numerous advisors, though the emperor was simple, and loud whenever he ought to have been thinking, did not dare question very much of what the emperor said, for the emperor was attended at all times by his huge dog Rover. When the emperor was questioned, he would start to stutter, twitch and sweat, and this reminded Rover of many times, back when his master could be told he was wrong, when he would be locked in a room with the prince, who would pet him and call him his best friend, but
then drink until he had the nerve to kick the poor dog about the room. And Rover ate the grandest food he had ever known now, as much of it as he wanted. Rover, who never
wanted to go back to the way it had been before, and the shame and pain he remembered, would growl dreadfully at anyone whose advice did not echo that of the emperor.

"I think the whole castle should be rebuilt upside-down," said the emperor one fine summer's day, walking along the terrace. "Then I wouldn't have to go so far up the stairs to see the murals on the ceiling."

"Yes, emperor," they said, and it was soon done.

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