There are several types of commuciators.
Assertive, Aggresive, Passive, and Passive-Agressive communicators all have their own ways of dealing with conflict, some of which are healthy, many of which are not.

Agressive communication dominates others. People who use this type of communication will often resort to threats, yelling, agression, and even violence when a conflict arises. Needless to say, agressive communciation styles destroy relationships, and damages others.

A Passive communicator is the "I don't care" and "It doesn't really matter to me" type. While these people may appear laid back, over time, in relationships the passivity begins to become monotonous. While a passive communicator is easy to victimize, they also victimize others, with their overall lack of concern or caring in relationships. Too much passivity eventually leads to the downfall of the passive individual. Although these types at first appear easy to please, partners of a passive individual will often tire of carrying all of the burden for making decisions and choices in the relationship. They may also become bored with the passive partners lack of opinions, ideas, and motivation.

A Passive-Agressive person is one that appears Passive at first, but later reveals themself as angry, bitter, or sullen over situations that they never openly let others know upset them. These are the "two-faced" individuals of the world. They often 'try to be nice', and grudgingly put others needs before their own. Later it becomes apparent that they resent "the others" for their choices. They attempt to please everyone, and attempt to ignore their own feelings. Over time, however, the passive-agressive person may erupt over issues their partner never knew existed. Marriages to passive-agressive individuals often end abruptly, leaving one partner feeling as if they had no idea this was coming.

To learn to become an Assertive communicator is not always an easy task, especially for those who have communicated in destructive ways in the past. The benefits of assertiveness, however, are well worth the effort it takes to learn new ways of dealing of problems and conflicts.

The Assertive communicator can express their wants and needs clearly, without becoming angry and agressive, or sullen and bitter.
By clearly letting people know what they want, need or would like to see happen, the Assertive person has a better chance of having his/her wants and needs respected and supported by others. Assertive communicators have sincere relationships, built on honesty, and openeness. These individuals often have a better relationship with themselves as well. They spend time thinking about what it is they want/need, and because they value themselves, are not afraid to ask for it. They do not usually carry grudges, or harbor unexpressed sadness, hurt or anger. They are generally happier with their relationships, and able to get more out of careers, friendships and family relationships as well

Learn more about this author, Randa Morris.
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