How many bullies do you know who are aware that they're bullies? How many bullies are going to read and identify with these tips? Precious few. If you scratch a bully, you will find a coward. Bullies are bullies because they are afraid. The message the bully tries to send by being a bully is, "I'm not afraid." If you're really not afraid, you don't need to prove it. If the bully can make you afraid then s/he can continue the illusion that s/he is not afraid.

If you're a bully and you know it clap your hands! Bullies have very little chance at success in getting either a raise or a promotion unless they can leave their shoulder chip at the door. Intimidation does not work when you are dealing with a superior. By definition, the boss or supervisor is the one in the power position. No amount of bullying is going to change that. If you try bullying or intimidation to get a raise, you're more likely to be looking for another job.

We need to distinguish between aggression and assertiveness. Assertiveness can be a very powerful and positive tool for persuading a boss to give you a raise. Assertive people tend to get things done and are more proactive on the job. They are more likely to be innovative and try to improve things for themselves and their company. If a bully can manage to change aggressiveness into assertiveness, there is still hope.

The feeling tone of assertiveness is, "I know who I am. I know what I am capable of. I know I can do a good job and in fact I have been doing a good job. I am an asset to this company and will continue to be an asset in the future." If you can bring that attitude and exude that kind of self-confidence in your negotiations without coming off as an arrogant ass, you have a good chance of accomplishing your financial goals.

Learn more about this author, Rob Bryant.
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