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There are many things a man can do to camouflage a beer belly. But let's set the record straight; a beer belly isn't necessarily caused by beer. I ought to know; I have one, and it was caused by good old fashioned gluttony. I took the view that all food was health food, and as such, ought to be enjoyed in great quantities frequently. I am the Winnie the Pooh of the blogging world. There's never a bad time for a meal, and there's no such thing as eating too much food. As a result, I am about thirty pounds overweight.

The first step towards hiding what is actually there is creating a diversion. You want to hide the facts by drawing attention to something else that maybe isn't front and center. There are several ways to do so. I am sure you have noticed that clean shaven men who are overweight always seem slightly pudgy in the face as well as the belly. Here is where the diversion begins. Most people look at faces; I know I do. You can do much in hiding your belly and your weight by simply growing a beard. That beard will hide the pudgy effects of a bit of extra weight. The bigger the beard the better. If two men of equal shape stand side by side, and one man has a full, big beard, while the other has some stubble and nothing more, it is the man with the full beard who looks thinner; thus, he has effectively created a diversion from his belly. The poor man who forgot to shave still looks overweight.

The second step towards hiding that belly lies in what you wear. For anyone with love handles or a beer belly, tight fitting clothes are absolutely forbidden. Remember, you want to divert attention away from that unsightly belly, not draw attention to it. You can only do this by making it very difficult for anyone to actually see it. Sure, it's smoke and mirrors, but women do it all of the time with push-up bras and makeup, why can't men do it, too?

I recommend loose fitting high waist carpenter jeans or casual wear (for love handle support and restraint) along with a baggy sweatshirt or sweater. Whenever you are standing, slightly suck in your belly. With a little bit of practice, you can do this for hours and no one will notice. If a sweatshirt is too warm, then an oversized tee-shirt or rugby will be necessary. Avoid button down shirts as they usually have to be tucked in, exposing the belt and belly. Remember, these are exactly the things you want to hide; why would you wear something that reveals them? If a button down shirt is unavoidable, then go all the way and just wear the suit; at least the coat can help hide the midsection. But you have to make sure the coat is finely tailored and also loose fitting. That suit which fit eight years ago won't do the trick. Go out and buy a new one unless you enjoy looking like the Michelin man.

Of course you could just lose weight and end the charade, but what fun would that be?

Learn more about this author, Tom Reindl.
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