by Vivienne Quek

Created on: April 19, 2007   Last Updated: October 14, 2010

How tough and difficult can a conversation be if you are prepared to face the brutal, ugly truth with honesty and compassion?

Conversations are made by two persons, shared between two persons. If you can sit down to talk without ranting, yelling, shouting, and screaming at each other, there is no such thing as difficult conversation. The challenge lies within yourself because you have to decide what to say, how you want to say it and how prepared you are for the reaction.

Usually, conversations become difficult when a party has a hidden agenda. When both parties are unwilling or unable to be fully truthful, communication starts to break down. That is when you start struggling for things to say. You begin planning your "approach". You work the angles in your head.

In the first place, do you want to tell the truth? Is it better to tell half truth and keep her from the ugly facts? Or might it be better to fabricate a white lie so that you or her can "stay out of trouble" and some heartaches.

After that, your next hurdle is how to say it? Make it as simple and plain, which might end up being blunt and crude? Lace it with a bit sugar and honey so that the brutal facts are not as hurting? Or beat around the bush to come to the point to soften the blow.

Fact is fact, there is nothing to bull*. So it is not about what you say, it's more about how you say it.

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